Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
