she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
