Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
