I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
