God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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