I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
