she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
