I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
