After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
