i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That accounts for only three of the penises
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We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.