Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.

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(301): Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel. http://tfl.nu/b636

Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (3923)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?

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(860): Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be? http://tfl.nu/i247

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(816): View more from Missouri

and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours

(816): View more from Missouri

outstanding.

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(816): and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like. (1-816): Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours (816): outstanding. http://tfl.nu/qtfw

Replies (15) Good night (4289) Bad night (774)
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(847): View more from Illinois

woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.

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(847): woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score. http://tfl.nu/p406

Replies (26) Good night (9100) Bad night (658)
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(540): View more from Virginia

i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.

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(540): i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month. http://tfl.nu/gnax

Replies (4) Good night (2829) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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(205): View more from Alabama

he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

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(205): he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off... http://tfl.nu/kran

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(847): View more from Illinois

Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"

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(847): Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!" http://tfl.nu/3xo9

Replies (10) Good night (5123) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.

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(262): At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex. http://tfl.nu/iosj

Replies (26) Good night (5333) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.

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(904): Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men. http://tfl.nu/3bcx

Replies (8) Good night (688) Bad night (2016)
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(661): View more from California

i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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(661): i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean http://tfl.nu/gpjf

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(218): View more from Minnesota

you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"

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(218): you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen" http://tfl.nu/038r

Replies (8) Good night (2602) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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(604): View more from British Columbia

He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"

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(604): He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked" http://tfl.nu/v4rb

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(254): View more from Texas

What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?

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(254): What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch? http://tfl.nu/qe37

Replies (11) Good night (1525) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles

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(313): we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles http://tfl.nu/5ilu

Replies (12) Good night (833) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL

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(403): I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON (403): PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY (403): THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL http://tfl.nu/9qgu

Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (329)

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