Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.

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  (248): Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too. http://tfl.nu/c23w
  Replies (9) Good night (2351) Bad night (748)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?

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  (617): I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila? http://tfl.nu/4qsv
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (437)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.

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  (425): God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis. http://tfl.nu/n22o
  Replies (21) Good night (468) Bad night (2105)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.

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  (608): i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross. http://tfl.nu/qmd2
  Replies (19) Good night (566) Bad night (2854)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo

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  (610): Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo http://tfl.nu/aw10
  Replies (30) Good night (5818) Bad night (1027)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  there needs to be a build-a-bong store...

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  (267): there needs to be a build-a-bong store... http://tfl.nu/zpe9
  Replies (53) Good night (9108) Bad night (921)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said

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  (419): I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said http://tfl.nu/s0mp
  Replies (21) Good night (4637) Bad night (1070)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

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  (614): Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is http://tfl.nu/l5nn
  Replies (20) Good night (6963) Bad night (1687)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.

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  (317): she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch. http://tfl.nu/cail
  Replies (51) Good night (1061) Bad night (5564)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.

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  (262): Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell. http://tfl.nu/5ggd
  Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (1474)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

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  (201): In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye. http://tfl.nu/tv9w
  Replies (7) Good night (685) Bad night (1288)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio

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  (302): Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio http://tfl.nu/5lxt
  Replies (9) Good night (1967) Bad night (499)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others

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  (574): Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others http://tfl.nu/5o0g
  Replies (4) Good night (1075) Bad night (579)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

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  (+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq
  Replies (2) Good night (269) Bad night (808)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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  (520): So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational http://tfl.nu/op3j
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (335)

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