Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

for doing what?

(248): View more from Michigan

for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.

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(248): ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day. (1-248): for doing what? (248): for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home. http://tfl.nu/ju4n

Replies (33) Good night (2612) Bad night (629)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

(734): View more from Michigan

Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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(734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44

Replies (7) Good night (685) Bad night (1825)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.

(504): View more from Louisiana

Who won?

(225): View more from Louisiana

All of them.

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(225): I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away. (504): Who won? (225): All of them. http://tfl.nu/xlra

Replies (81) Good night (9639) Bad night (1801)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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(720): I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn. http://tfl.nu/6oei

Replies (8) Good night (2686) Bad night (675)
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(256): View more from Alabama

so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

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(256): so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart. http://tfl.nu/u8db

Replies (30) Good night (8150) Bad night (1217)
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(815): View more from Illinois

just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling

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(815): just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling http://tfl.nu/a8k8

Replies (18) Good night (2262) Bad night (3870)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.

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(612): You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship. http://tfl.nu/eji2

Replies (10) Good night (4276) Bad night (1013)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite

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(250): I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite http://tfl.nu/yccl

Replies (4) Good night (1206) Bad night (1254)
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(863): View more from Florida

I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.

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(863): I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious. http://tfl.nu/2u5k

Replies (5) Good night (2611) Bad night (741)
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(512): View more from Texas

ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..

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(512): ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm.. http://tfl.nu/glda

Replies (12) Good night (1370) Bad night (739)
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(360): View more from Washington

She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

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(360): She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake. http://tfl.nu/n9ny

Replies (7) Good night (492) Bad night (902)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.

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(321): You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/b1s4

Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (1209)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?

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(732): You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/m097

Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (351)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

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(410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f

Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (614)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

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(770): I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/srdm

Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (309)

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