I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
