is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
