Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
