Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard

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(917): My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard http://tfl.nu/zt1l

Replies (19) Good night (3260) Bad night (793)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life

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(804): i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life http://tfl.nu/us99

Replies (4) Good night (735) Bad night (2899)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...

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(734): I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come... http://tfl.nu/n638

Replies (56) Good night (4143) Bad night (2329)
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(917): View more from New York City

It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.

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(917): It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met. http://tfl.nu/1axf

Replies (21) Good night (4651) Bad night (1246)
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(815): View more from Illinois

man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed

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(815): man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed http://tfl.nu/08b9

Replies (64) Good night (1957) Bad night (4460)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

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(630): Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened. http://tfl.nu/4exz

Replies (23) Good night (6549) Bad night (2889)
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(850): View more from Florida

So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

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(850): So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm. http://tfl.nu/5svr

Replies (17) Good night (2672) Bad night (4098)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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(203): she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever. http://tfl.nu/jt2o

Replies (8) Good night (6731) Bad night (837)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"

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(908): I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!" http://tfl.nu/rdw8

Replies (9) Good night (1398) Bad night (3021)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead

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(502): Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead http://tfl.nu/4b2b

Replies (18) Good night (5434) Bad night (1261)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?

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(617): A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck? http://tfl.nu/zk7d

Replies (13) Good night (3752) Bad night (814)
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(817): View more from Texas

Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.

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(817): Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty. http://tfl.nu/lz9h

Replies (5) Good night (432) Bad night (1282)
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(904): View more from Florida

All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you

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(904): All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you http://tfl.nu/8984

Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (935)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.

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(705): I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn. http://tfl.nu/ki2i

Replies (3) Good night (379) Bad night (550)
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(845): View more from New York

There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!

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(845): There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here! http://tfl.nu/1ha2

Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (542)

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