I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
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We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
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We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.