I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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