So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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