No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
