is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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