i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
