Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I AM VODKA MAN
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
