try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize