turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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