I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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