are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
