seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
