Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
