Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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