Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
