She's JV to your varsity
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
