ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
