i was rollin on her like bob the builder
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
