Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The adults are the big ones right?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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