It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
