i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She's the barista slut.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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