Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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