i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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