this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
