Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
