Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
