What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
