Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
