Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think your dad took our porno
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
