We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hotel room ftw
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
