Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
