ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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