You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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