My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize