i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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