thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
