He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
