1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
