this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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