You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
