remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
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I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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