Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
