ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
