I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
