Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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