omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Randomize