I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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