you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
