What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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