Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
