Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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