we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
