Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
