Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
